The last few years have been hard, much has changed in my life and some of what made that change wasn't nice. I'm in a better place now. In some ways I have more in my life than I ever expected to have. I just read this article and it ended with a paragraph that strikes a particular chord with me:

"I still don’t know what love is, but I know it’s not warm and fuzzy feelings – it’s actions, it’s what you do. I still like men, I love male company, I have some great friends. I still want to love and be loved. There have been new relationships since I left, but men scare me a little. It’s going to be a special guy who takes my guard down – who will be patient as I flap about in the big blue yonder, and panic. I hope I meet him. But I’m not a half, looking for my whole. I don’t need looking after. But to lean in a little, we all need that. The way I see it, any man worth my time is already a feminist; he may not think of it that way, but he is. Decent men respect women, have got that whole macho v masculine thing figured out. I take heart from my favourite Maya Angelou quote: “I’ve been female for a long time now. I’d be stupid not to be on my own side.”

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/28/i-had-the-courage-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship